Where is your temper?
Have you lost it?
Do you keep losing it?
Mine is right here, right now – only because my three year old hasn’t returned from daycare yet.
And since I lose it ever so often, I’ve decided that enough is enough. I love my temper and I don’t lose things I love.
And so for 30 days (I think I’m being a little bit ambitious here, but fuck it) – I would like to challenge myself not to lose my temper at all when dealing with my daughter.
In order to make things easier for me, I shall list out some alternative methods of dealing with a defiant, stubborn, insolent, sassy know-it-all – a quarter of my size but with an attitude four times mine.
So, the next time my daughter is screaming her head off, rolling on the floor saying “I DON’T WANT!!!” or “I WANT!!!” or “NOOOOOOOOO”, I’ll try either of these:
- Count to 20 with her. This gives us both a chance to cool it. Plus, she gets to practice counting to 20.
- Give her a tight, big, hug and softly explain things to her. This works especially well when she’s screaming her head off during one of her tantrums.
- Distract her from the situation temporarily by asking her to help with something. This method is especially helpful when I’m preparing dinner – I get her to help with peeling garlic, washing her cup, set the table, or sing to Oliver.
- Give her a chance to throw her tantrum, then offer a hug.
- Start singing at the top of my lungs. Never underestimate what singing off-key can do.
- Start playing with one of her toys or reading one of her books super enthusiastically.
- Ask her if she wants to give her grandparents/uncles/aunties a video call.
It’s now 3.36 pm. I haven’t lost it with her yet. But we have 5 hours left before bedtime, so anything is possible.
She threw a fit earlier because she didn’t want to go to her room (she plays in her room by herself every afternoon for 2 hours – I know. Crazy, right?). Her fit was impressive. Award winning.
I gave her a good 5 minutes to cry and scream it out – then went to her, gave her a hug, and asked her to lie down. I sayang-ed her and made a promise that we’d do something fun once her 2 hours are done. And she fell asleep. Normally I would have fought fire with fire – but this time, I DIDN’T LOSE IT!
Today is going great so far – temper still intact. Gimme five!
Do you have a kid or more? Do you lose your temper with them, too? Would you like to participate in this challenge with me?
(This challenge is currently closed. If you’d like a notification of when it opens again, subscribe to receive updates from MalaysianFamilies.)
If you do, fill up this really simple form:
By participating, you’ll get:
- Daily email (for 30 days) with tips, motivational (and hopefully funny) anecdotes and an update on how others and myself are keeping up with this challenge
- A short form sent to your email daily to update your progress
Err, yeah. That’s it.
*This challenge is open dated. Anyone can join, whenever they feel like. Feel free to share this out to someone who needs it.
**What if you end up losing your shit before the challenge is over? It’s OK. I heart you. You’re not a failure. Just fill the form up again to start over.
***What happens when you don’t fill up your progress report for the day? There is a reason the progress reports are really quick to fill up – in order for you not to lose your enthusiasm. To be perfectly honest with you, I don’t really give a damn if you lose pace. If you send it in a day late, I’ll just send you the next email a day later. No pressure. I get how life is as parent.